Today Rebekah turns three! I cannot believe how big that girl is getting. Three years ago today I was lying in the hospital, wishing she'd just come already! I was nervous, excited and sick of being pregnant!

When that little girl came into the world, she changed my life forever. Those bright alert eyes just threw me for a loop, and she's never let me catch my breath since! She's constantly making me laugh, cry, smile, scream and everything in between. And really, I wouldn't have it any other way.

It's been a big, long, difficult, amazing, fun, sad year for us, and I can't believe how much we all grew as people and as a family. She is our world, and I can't imagine a day without her smile, her kisses, her hugs, or her tantrums (ok, maybe I can imagine life without that one...)

Today she is three, no longer my little toddler, officially a pre-schooler and forever my baby girl. Happy Birthday big girl!

I swear I've been good this year!

December 028, originally uploaded by ToniScottPhotography.

Would this face lie to you??

Merry Christmas!

December 031 bw2, originally uploaded by ToniScottPhotography.

Bekah right before we went to see Santa...

Yuletide!

We've had a busy start to this month so far! Between Ben getting a new job, Bekah deciding to regress and not potty train at her school, and Christmas coming, we just have been swamped. I have so many pictures I still have to post to my photography blog and I have another photo shoot tomorrow! Busy busy! I'm sure grateful for it though. I'm glad we're not so stationary and depressed like last month.

Anyway we put up our tree as you can see above, Bekah helped out a lot. She heped me put up all the decorations from the comfort of the recliner. I should post a pic of it all done, it looks really cute. It's red and green and has big candy canes on it and a red and white striped star. Kind of a pepermint tree. I like it!

Then on Thursday night we took Bekah to go see santa. The Santa at Fashion Place has this cool deal where if you buy one of the higher priced packages ( I think $35 and above) you get a $20 gift card to shutterfly (my FAVE site), a flashdrive with your pictures on it, and a coupon to build-a-bear. Well I was going to take bekah there for her birthday anyway, and $20 on shutterfly WILL get used, so we went.

Sadly the Santa wasn't as cute as the one we went to last year, but ah well, still Santa-y. Bekah looked adorable in the dress Grammy got her, and the purse Tami gave her. She would NOT let go of that purse!

After that we went to Cheesecake Factory, and may I say... Yum? I love that place. We haven't been since our Anniversary about a year ago. It was really nice to get out and spend some time together.

Hope you're all enjoying the crazy of the Holidays!

Gobble Gobble Burp.

Today is Saturday. Feels like Monday. Too weird!

We got a 4-day weekend at work this year for Thanksgiving (finally!) and it's awesome! Thursday we did Thanksgiving at my mom's and had a blast. My BFF Honey and her husband Kirk came over, and it was absolutely lovely. My mom made an amazing turkey, there was much wine and eggnog (with liquor!) and we played games while we digested. Oh, and mine and ben's late-night pie making party turned out great results. The pumpkin was amazing!

That night Honey and I went and did some black friday madness. She got Rebekah this ginormous stuffed tiger that takes up half her bed... I got our family Christmas present (though we're using it already... an LCD HDTV and a blu-ray player. Super cheap and totally sweet. We only stood in line for 3 hours...

I only just recovered from the lack of sleep today... and now I'm making our turkey dinner yum yum! Time to chillax and clean the house... it's like a tornado swept through here!

Oh and my elbow is finally getting better. I bruised a tendon in my left arm about a week ago... It was bad. I still can't do my own hair or pull off shirts very easily, but I can, for the most part, fuction normally with very little pain. Isn't it funny how we can do that to our bodies? And all I was doing was pulling grocery bags out of the trunk...

Alright, back to my housework...

Thankful

This Thanksgiving we have so much to be thankful for! (please don't mind all the parentheses. I am feeling very comment-y today...)

Almost exactly a month ago, Ben lost his job at PetSmart. It was terrifying and awful. We scraped by, and as we started getting closer to the end of the month, we knew we were coming to the end of our rope. After Thanksgiving we wouldn't be able to make ends meet. Our Landlords were fantastic (very thankful for them too!) and worked with us. Our family and friends were fantastic (thank you mom for the money here and there) they made sure we had groceries and gas in the car when they could.

We prayed and worked and got Ben some interviews. They went well, and yet he still didn't have a job. Then a job I applied him for a few weeks before he lost his job called him up. In fact, the district (area? zone?) manager called him and said, let's get you in for an interview!!

After a two-week long application process (biting our nails the entire way...) they called and said... We want you to work for us! Not only that, but they got him started today so he'd get paid for the holiday. (Imagine working one day and getting the next day paid off!)

The pay is more than we imagined he'd get (we were getting desperate for anything... minimum wage...) plus commission on his sales. The hours are great (no late nights and short weekend shifts) and as far as we can tell the guys he works with are great.

Thank you everyone for all the words, prayers and little things that helped us get through the hardest month I think we've ever been through. Now... on to the future.

Gods Bless, and have a safe and happy holiday!

Snow Day!

So we got a lot done this morning before the snow started... but alas I'm still feeling like I'm losing my weekend.

Bekah's God-momma Honey came over and cut Bekah's this hair this weekend (we had a very entertaining Friday night... mwa ha ha)

Bekah no longer has a mullet. Praise the Gods! :) And as Honey reminded me twice... she is certified to cut hair. What a wonderful woman that Honey... we just love her to pieces..

Today I am making Pear and Blue Cheese soup. It is magnificent and I dare you to try it. I guarantee you will love it! I got the recipe from a chef at a restaurant we went to once, he just kind of walked me through it real quick and I wrote it down while it was in my head... Yummy yum yum!

Pear and Blue Cheese Soup:

4-6 Bosch pears (depending on size) very ripe and soft.
1 stick of butter
half an onion (or a small onion) diced
two stalks of celery diced thin
1/2 cup flour
Two 14 oz cans of Chicken Broth
Salt
Pepper
1/2 pint half and half (this you can use more or less based on your tastes... or use cream or whole milk)
1 cup blue cheese (I just buy a small tub and use it all)

Core and slice the pears (leave skin or not) and saute in the butter with the onion and celery. Let saute until the pears are softened. Then add the flour and mix (making a rou) and let the flour cook out the raw taste (about 2 minutes or so) then add the chicken broth. Stir well until the flour mixture dissolves into the broth. Add a dash of salt and pepper (I use low sodium chicken broth so it needs a bit of salt, with the regular stuff you may not)

At this point you can let it cook for a while, about 20-30 minutes or so to let the flavors truly meld, or once warm move on to the next step.

Now, with a stick blender (or in your food processor), blend the soup in the pan gently (to keep from splashing too much) and puree the soup mixture. Add half and half and blue cheese, and let get back up to temperature.

Viola.

I dare you to try!!

Picture HEAVY post...

I haven't posted a good set of pictures in forever (They're on my photography blog mostly) But here ya go...

This was bathtime the other night... this one ended up so sweet I framed it and put it in our bathroom... I just love her big sad eyes.

This one is too funny, she kept wiping the bubbles into her eyes then crying and wiping them back out... she was all sudsy at the end of it.

 

Bekah Trick-or-Treating at my work on the 29th... she had SO much fun and got SO much candy!!

A fun triptych I call, Dance in Three Steps :)

These are a series of pictures we did on a nice day, Bekah's a total ragamuffin, but I think they turned out okay.  She had so much fun twirling and dancing! I love that look on her face... what a little girl!!

This I call the "Little Ben" picture... I can't believe how much she looks like him!!

More to come!!

What a week.

I don't even really know where to start. Writing is so cathartic for me, I know I need to get it all out, everything that's going on. Ok, well not everything but everything I can talk about. It's all so overwhelming I just wish I could barf it onto the screen. But that would be chunky and unpleasant yes?

God it's been a tough week. I guess I'll just blurt it out. Ben lost his job. So now we're out about 30% of our income (minus daycare which we don't need if he's unemployed) And trying to make everything work is going to be darn near impossible. He feels terrible, like a failure. I just feel like we were just getting settled after the last upheaval in our lives, why another one? It's really not fair.

We work hard, and we finally get into a doable situation and bammo. Luckily my friends have been really supportive. That's the other drama going on. Friends. Some I thought were more distant have really been awesome and supportive. Some I thought were my dear friends have sort of pushed me out of their lives. Though I guess I should have seen that coming... the signs have been there a long time. I don't have enough energy to keep it going so it fails. It's sad.

Work is going well I think. I wish I could get my review and my raise already... my boss is tres late.

Oh Halloween has been so fun so far. After I take pictures tomorrow night I'll post the pictures from my work Trick or Treating and around the neighborhood too. It will be a picture heavy post!

Well please keep us in your thoughts and prayers, we really need a lot of love and help. And thanks for being there for us. We love you!

Thoughts in Haiku. Sort of. Not really.

Sorry so long with no post. I'm eating one of ^those^ right now. Tres Tasty.

I had a very very very happy birthday! Thanks everyone who sent cards (THANKS BECCA!) and hung out with me (Honey... :D) I had a great time!!

Anyway not a lot going on with us, same old same old. Bekah's getting so big it makes me sad sometimes. I miss my baby girl... But now she's so much fun I'm glad she's growing.

Potty training is fun... but slow.

This is gonna be a short post I Think.

Oh, next week is ESOP week at WesTech. I finally am in the ESOP! YAY! So I feel a part of the company finally.

Ok... can't think of much else...

Night!

Mood Stabalizers: Chocolate and Grey's Anatomy.

So, thought I'd update you on my mood. Although, it is so unpredictable of late, you would probably need updates at least 5 times a day, but alas I don't think you'd like to read my blog THAT much...

Anyway we've had a couple of good turns of fate, and it looks like my photography skills, and Ben's Landscaping skills may help us out in the months to come, so hooray for that.

Ben also had an interview today for a new job that'd be back to what he was making before his pay cut, and that's the starting wage. So please keep us in your thoughts, we need this!

Bekah went on the potty 6 times last night. Yeah, that's right. She lets out just enough pee to make the potty chair make music, then gets a treat, then sits down again and does it over and over again. So I had to do two things. One, make sure she gets as much out as possible as she sits there. Two, get smaller potty treats.

Her whole body was just covered in chocolate from these little chocolate caramel cups. I originally bought bigger treats to reward her for going, because she rarely did, but now she's got the hang of it, imagine her after she's had 6 of those in a row! I'm still wiping chocolatey fingerprints off the whole house.

So this time I bought M&Ms. I figure the more she puts in the potty the more I'll give her, and reward her for doing all her business.

OK well enough of my daughter's urination. Have a lovely day!

Wow

That last post was my 100th. Happy 101st post everyone! :)

I haven't been posting much, because I haven't really been in a great mood these past weeks. Its not home life or anything, that is going just fine. It's just our financial situation has me up at night lately. The bad economy finally hit home for us. Ben got his pay cut by $1.50 an hour, and his hours by 8-10 hours a week.

Now the budget that was tight but functional is now no longer doable, and somethings have to change.

We're working on making everything work... but damn things are tight.

So anyway, this point of this little boo-hoo story is that the reason I've been neglecting my little bloggy, is because I was afraid any post I put here would be, well, a boo-hoo story.

So enough of that and on with the show. If you haven't checked out my phototography blog, you should: http://toniscottphotography.blogspot.com

I have a couple of photoshoots set up this month and will be updating it lots! :)

Happy Saturday everyone!

Camp Floyd Days!

Sorry for the picture heavy post, but I loved so many pictures from last weekend I couldn't resist! Sorry I've been off for so long... I've spent the last week trying to fix my blowed up computer. With a lot of work and the guys on the IThelp forum, I got it done! YAY!

Anyway, lots of pics today. Hope you enjoy. They are from Camp Floyd Days, done at Camp Floyd State Park in Fairfield, UT. We are dorky civil war reenactors, and we have SUCH a good time.

Above is a picture of my mom's boyfriend Mike. He portrays JFE Hillen, a war sketch artist for the paper. He would go to battles and sketch what was happening. The modern equivalent would be a photojournalist. I used photoshop to make the photo look like a daguerreotype, the type of photography used at the time. It was fun!

Below is bekah's new dress that grammy made her. She outgrew her old one SO fast!
This is my best friend Honey and I. It was so hot we were just in our skivvies, because the dresses were killing us. Usually its not bad, but the humidity made it worse. Since it was sunday, and the park was closed, we got comfy!
This is Honey's husband Kirk. He's obsessed with his period flag collection. So I photographed him with some of his babies.
Again used photoshop to play with these. Interesting techniques to make them look this way, quite opposite of what most photographers do to their photos now.
And me, I'm bad to the bone.
Bekah and Grammy walking together in the morning.
My sleepy angel.

I'm not dead yet!

No, just busy. And stressed. And updating other blogs.

Well I can't stay here long, I have to get back to work but just thought I'd let you know I live.

See ya!

August Rain

I braved pea sized hail to take some amazing pictures outside our house. Hope you enjoy!


This is our view to the east. Look at those colors...

Twinkle lights and little drips
It's raining, it's pouring!
She's getting so big... I can't believe we're south of 2 and a half!
She looks so much like her dad. I think she needs a haircut, how bout you?

Networking Shmetworking

I just spent the last two hours trying to figure out how to get my modem to go wireless. I have a wireless card in my computer... and the modem is wireless, why can't they talk?? AUGH!!

So as you can tell, we have internet at home now. Woot. So I guess I can rant from home.

Not that anyone really reads my rants... I miss when Becca used to update like, daily. Stop having a life and update people! I love your blogs!!!

Ok That's enough of that, back to my stupid modem.

"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.." -Steven Wright

So the weekend was awesome. Our barbecue was a hit! We had barbecue chicken, lots of side salads and dessert. There was much chatting, and hanging out. Then both Bekah's God-Mother and God-Father brought her fireworks. Let me tell you... they went on for almost two hours! Those two compete so much. It's adorable.

We were glad to find everyone got along. It was really nice!! Plus we got to show all our family our new house. They all loved it.

So Ben's kind of on the job hung again. Ugh. It's very frustrating, seeing him search and search. I want him to be happy, like I am at my job. But on the other hand... I want him to help me make the rent. You know?

Eh anyway. Ranting aside, the weekend was lovely. I love my marriage, my family, my house and my job. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. What's gonna go wrong now, right?

Ok, I best go back to work. Three minutes til the end of lunch. Just in time!!

Snuggles

I love that picture. We took it with Daddy's phone. Left him a surprise for when he woke up.

Anywho. Hello blogtastic world! It is I, righter of wrongs, defender of the defenseless. Oh wait, not that's not me... Wronger of nothings, Defender of the defensable. I am TOWANDA!

Sorry, watched Fried Green Tomatoes the other day. I keep shouting TOWANDA! at the top of my lungs. And ramming people in VW bugs. Guess you have to have seen it eh?

So I'm not really sure what to write about today. This weekend we're having a big bbq bash. If you're reading this, you're probably invited. 6pm til whenever. Just call me for the address.

We are LOVING our new house. It's free of all the dark energy our last house had, all the negative spirits around. Blech. This one is so happy, its a bright and calm house. Everyone who comes over says how peaceful it feels. How content and joyful. I think that house is happy we're there, and we are sure happy we are.

I guess I better get back to work. TTYL peoples. Leave me commetns. I need to know you love me!

Stay LDS?

Warning: Controversial Post…

I read about a website today, designed to help Mormons who have had a crisis of faith, stay within the church. Now, I had no problem with that tagline. I think that if you come out of a crisis with the desire to go back, that a resource like that is very helpful for you. A forum for members, resources linked all in one place. That’s great.

Now, as a former member of the LDS church, my curiosity was tweaked, and I clicked.

On the front page was a link to an essay entitled “How to Stay.” I started reading this, and I have to say, instead of finding a support for those who have considered leaving, I found an article that should have been entitled “How to Pretend to Stay” or “How to keep up Appearances.”

The Article, in a nutshell, said that instead of holding the church a high standard (A standard which the bretheren set themselves, mind you) accept that somethings about it are good, some are bad. Some are true, some aren’t. That instead of knowing the church is true, you have faith that it’s good.

Now I myself, I cannot go to a church, especially a church that expects its members to have 100% faith, and to believe, without a doubt that it is the ONLY true church upon the earth, and not believe that.

Yet that is exactly what this article tells you how to do. How to be a “Buffet Mormon,” How to “de-program your children,” and such things. My personal feelings are, if you feel that way about the church… why stay?

Well they address that too. Because you were probably raised in the church, probably had callings, and lived your life in the church. Married, had children, all of that within this Mormon Community. To leave now, would be too hard. It would mean changing your life, and looking inward. And who wants to do that? Who wants to really take stock of their life and their beliefs? Apparently not Mormons.

I was offended by this essay for various reasons. First, as a former Mormon, I feel like this site caters to Jack-Mormons. Like a how-to guide to sort of kinda believe in what, many people I know and love believe VERY strongly. With a testimony that even now amazes me. It’s like spitting in their faces, why do all the hard stuff when you can just PRETEND to?

As a non-Mormon now, I’m offended that people who find themselves in this position would rather keep up appearances and go through the motions rather than actually face their fears and beliefs and come up with what they need spiritually.

I’m not saying everyone on this site is like that, I’m not saying that these are all bad people doing this, I just feel like admonishing the practice of Pretend-Mormons makes me really sad. I’m linking the site below. The essay is linked on the front page. Let me know what you think. I know there could be a lot of different views on this, and I’d like your opinions.

Site: www.staylds.com

Essay: http://staylds.com/docs/HowToStay.html

Blogging as a sport.

So yesterday I was bored.

Because this is a holiday week, everyone keeps skipping out early, if they come in at all. And about 3 pm yesterday, this left me with nothing to do. So I read back some of Becca's blogs (Becca I have the hardest time not writing Bekah now. Its like my fingers are mutinous...) and my old blogs.

And I thought of something. You know, when you get married and have a family, you start to lose little pieces of yourself. You get married, and there goes a chunk. You have a baby and there goes another chunk. Bills, rent, mortgages, a real job... chunk after chunk falls off and goes by the wayside. (Oddly enough all of those things will make you GAIN chunks all over your body!!)

I'm getting off track a little, but what I'm saying is, you get to the other side of that stress, that frenzy, and start to wonder where you went. Things finally start to settle down, the bills get manageable, your job is nice, your kid is a little older, and you settle into a lovely relationship with your spouse, and suddenly you see this giant gaping hole in yourself. Where the f*** did that come from?

I personally believe that's the point in a relationship when things can really go south. You can start blaming this other person because you don't fish anymore, or you don't have time to camp, or draw or whatever. Or you can turn it around on yourself and say "Hey, self, I want to start doing (insert whatever here) again. Let's make this a priority and find ways to bring this back into our life." Of course you do need support from those around you, but really, its up to you to bring it back.

Ok I've been ranting on and on and really just circling around what I'm thinking. I really miss writing. And though I don't have time to take any classes right now, I'd like to start doing it again. Even just recreational blogging about my life.

SO, to get down to the meat of this post, this bloggy is going to diversify a little bit. I'm tired of the Family Picture + caption format, and want to open up again. So prepare thyselves.

I will warn you now, those of you who have not previously read my old blogs, that I can be dark, sarcastic, opinionated and pushy. But I figure this is my space on the interwebz, and I can be me here. I won't swear, but I might offend you.

Comments are loved. So are insults, harrassements and any other thing that lets me know people read. I love you all, and I hope you're ready. :D

Our House is a Home

Welcome Home Scotts!!

Three Julys

Bekah has now seen three July's. That's pretty hard for me to fathom. I just thought I'd share three years of Bekah. July to July to July.

Happy Half-Birthday love!

July 2007. Bekah was 6 months old. She had just learned to stand pretty good when leaning on stuff. We had to hold her up for this pic. This was at Liberty park, and she just wanted to go stomping with all the big kids!

July 2008 Bekah was 18 months Old. Just started walking well. This was our house in Sugarhouse. I loved living there!
July 2009. At the People's Market. Decidedly un-patriotic, but sadly this year I didn't get a pic of her in her red white and blue! I may have to dress her up this weekend and get some... :)

My funny kid...

So I've decided to start recording funny Bekah stories here on my blog, so I don't forget them. Here's the first!

(WARNING, this one is not for the weak stomached...)

About a week ago, a stomach bug went around our family. We all got it, and it was miserable. The last day or so of the bug, I woke up to get Bekah ready to go to school, and myself ready for work. I was so dizzy I couldn't get out of bed.

I had no idea why I felt so sick, since I'd been getting better. I got Bekah and myself dressed and went to brush my teeth. Of course bekah followed and wanted to brush her teeth. She has to do everything momma does. Well I'm brushing my teeth and suddenly I get super nauseated. I go over to the toilet and start throwing up, when I look up there is bekah standing next to me going "Hwaaaa!" making heaving noises like me. I can't help but smile at her. I say "Go on Bekah, mom's not feeling good."

She doesn't leave but instead starts spitting into the toilet (just like momma I guess) and holding her tummy going "no feel good!" I couldn't help but laugh. Well, inbetween the vomiting that is.

Bekah's big girl bed

Honey bought Bekah a bed last week, and Saturday it was delivered! Honey decided to come up for the festivities!


This is Bekah's "Before" pose. Empty room.
After the RC Willey guys assembled it she climbed up and said "BIG BED!"
We made it up with her beautiful new quilt that Honey made and wow, I was just freaking out. Later that day we put a rail on the side of the bed to keep her from rolling out. It was so high up I was nervous!
Her beautiful bed and her beautiful Godmother. What a wonderful auntie Honey is to her.
And within half an hour... she was OUT.Night snugga.

Some progress on the house

Here are some before and after's. We were all unpacked then we went through the garage and we have more boxes now. Blah. Making progress though. Check out the pics. :)

Before:


After:Before:After (ish) This room is still getting unpacked. My scrapbook table is on the left, computer on the right. It's actually worse today because of all the new boxes we brought in. This is where they all go.


I don't have a before of the living room, so here is just the after.
Before:
After: ha ha, not much different... yet.
The next two are the backyard befores:
This is sort of an after. Last night we worked on the porch a lot and our landlord came and got those two dryers off the porch. We also broke down boxes, got rid of that old fridge and put up some twinkle lights. I will have to post a night pic, its beautiful.