Warning: Controversial Post…
I read about a website today, designed to help Mormons who have had a crisis of faith, stay within the church. Now, I had no problem with that tagline. I think that if you come out of a crisis with the desire to go back, that a resource like that is very helpful for you. A forum for members, resources linked all in one place. That’s great.
Now, as a former member of the LDS church, my curiosity was tweaked, and I clicked.
On the front page was a link to an essay entitled “How to Stay.” I started reading this, and I have to say, instead of finding a support for those who have considered leaving, I found an article that should have been entitled “How to Pretend to Stay” or “How to keep up Appearances.”
The Article, in a nutshell, said that instead of holding the church a high standard (A standard which the bretheren set themselves, mind you) accept that somethings about it are good, some are bad. Some are true, some aren’t. That instead of knowing the church is true, you have faith that it’s good.
Now I myself, I cannot go to a church, especially a church that expects its members to have 100% faith, and to believe, without a doubt that it is the ONLY true church upon the earth, and not believe that.
Yet that is exactly what this article tells you how to do. How to be a “Buffet Mormon,” How to “de-program your children,” and such things. My personal feelings are, if you feel that way about the church… why stay?
Well they address that too. Because you were probably raised in the church, probably had callings, and lived your life in the church. Married, had children, all of that within this Mormon Community. To leave now, would be too hard. It would mean changing your life, and looking inward. And who wants to do that? Who wants to really take stock of their life and their beliefs? Apparently not Mormons.
I was offended by this essay for various reasons. First, as a former Mormon, I feel like this site caters to Jack-Mormons. Like a how-to guide to sort of kinda believe in what, many people I know and love believe VERY strongly. With a testimony that even now amazes me. It’s like spitting in their faces, why do all the hard stuff when you can just PRETEND to?
As a non-Mormon now, I’m offended that people who find themselves in this position would rather keep up appearances and go through the motions rather than actually face their fears and beliefs and come up with what they need spiritually.
I’m not saying everyone on this site is like that, I’m not saying that these are all bad people doing this, I just feel like admonishing the practice of Pretend-Mormons makes me really sad. I’m linking the site below. The essay is linked on the front page. Let me know what you think. I know there could be a lot of different views on this, and I’d like your opinions.
Site: www.staylds.com
Essay: http://staylds.com/docs/HowToStay.html
5 comments:
I didn't find your post offensive at all.
It's ok that we don't understand everything about the Church at first (or ever really), but just going through the motions for a lifetime without even the "desire to believe" those things seems like the coward's way out: the path of least resistance.
What I read of the article seemed like a way for them to justify their lifestyle to themselves instead of facing their concerns. Sad really.
I agree with the Brandon... it seems like to me that this was their way of justifying themselves. Granted I didn't read the whole article. I believe strongly that it is the church who can help us through any tough situation... trust me I've been in LOTS of hard and difficult situations but never once turned into one who just goes through the motions to make up appearances.
I was not offended by your post at all, everyone has their opinion and can freely express theirs. I do agree with you on some points especially when you went on to say you were offended by this post!!!
Sad that some people really do feel this way!!!
You use the phrases "former member" and "non-Mormon". Were you excommunicated? Because if you weren't, aren't you technically still a member of the LDS Church? (just an inactive one)
(Sorry to be anonymous, but too shy to ask by name.)
Comming from an once almost ex-communicated mormon... this site would have confused me unceasingly if I had encountered it during the time when I was questioning my faith. I hope seriously that noe one who is questioning their faith finds this website link. I know there are many in the church who are "only here for the bread" as I like to say... These people will one day (perhaps not in this life) come to regret their lack of inquiry. If at anytime you begin to question the church and if it is true.. I would admonish anyone, ANYONE, ex'ed, in-active, active, or even those who are simply "staying"... to ask of God. God doesn't always (always doesn't you might say)answer in a timly fashion nor does he answer in the way that we might accept but WILL answer. I nearly gave up waiting when I began to question my faith... but I know beyond a doubt that the LDS church is not only "good" but is also "the ONLY true" (and complete) "church upon the earth" somewhere inside of everyone there is a truth that can not be shunned forever. That truth will find its way into your life wether you like it or not.. better that you welcome it now and have that fullness of joy to get you through your life.
To Anonymous: the state of my membership, though personal, has nothing to do with excommunication. There are other ways to become a non-member besides being deemed a sinner, or being excommunicated or dis-fellowshipped. I have simply gone through this other route.
Tony: I respect the conviction of your faith.
I agree that this site is not a good resource at all, for anyone.
What I do not agree with, is that the answer for everyone lies in prayer. I know, because of your background and your faith, that you believe that anyone can find answers in the church. Not always.
I'm not saying that your faith is wrong, just that it isn't for everyone, and I really think that by saying it is the only church with truth, is a good way to sabotage the good that the church does. Not many people can get past the "one true church" statement enough to see that it is a good church for a lot of people.
I believe its narrow minded to say that if you pray, you'll see that the LDS church is the way to go. It isn't for everyone. That is why we have the Creator-given right to choose.
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