I'm not dead yet!

No, just busy. And stressed. And updating other blogs.

Well I can't stay here long, I have to get back to work but just thought I'd let you know I live.

See ya!

August Rain

I braved pea sized hail to take some amazing pictures outside our house. Hope you enjoy!


This is our view to the east. Look at those colors...

Twinkle lights and little drips
It's raining, it's pouring!
She's getting so big... I can't believe we're south of 2 and a half!
She looks so much like her dad. I think she needs a haircut, how bout you?

Networking Shmetworking

I just spent the last two hours trying to figure out how to get my modem to go wireless. I have a wireless card in my computer... and the modem is wireless, why can't they talk?? AUGH!!

So as you can tell, we have internet at home now. Woot. So I guess I can rant from home.

Not that anyone really reads my rants... I miss when Becca used to update like, daily. Stop having a life and update people! I love your blogs!!!

Ok That's enough of that, back to my stupid modem.

"I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.." -Steven Wright

So the weekend was awesome. Our barbecue was a hit! We had barbecue chicken, lots of side salads and dessert. There was much chatting, and hanging out. Then both Bekah's God-Mother and God-Father brought her fireworks. Let me tell you... they went on for almost two hours! Those two compete so much. It's adorable.

We were glad to find everyone got along. It was really nice!! Plus we got to show all our family our new house. They all loved it.

So Ben's kind of on the job hung again. Ugh. It's very frustrating, seeing him search and search. I want him to be happy, like I am at my job. But on the other hand... I want him to help me make the rent. You know?

Eh anyway. Ranting aside, the weekend was lovely. I love my marriage, my family, my house and my job. I just keep waiting for the other shoe to fall. What's gonna go wrong now, right?

Ok, I best go back to work. Three minutes til the end of lunch. Just in time!!

Snuggles

I love that picture. We took it with Daddy's phone. Left him a surprise for when he woke up.

Anywho. Hello blogtastic world! It is I, righter of wrongs, defender of the defenseless. Oh wait, not that's not me... Wronger of nothings, Defender of the defensable. I am TOWANDA!

Sorry, watched Fried Green Tomatoes the other day. I keep shouting TOWANDA! at the top of my lungs. And ramming people in VW bugs. Guess you have to have seen it eh?

So I'm not really sure what to write about today. This weekend we're having a big bbq bash. If you're reading this, you're probably invited. 6pm til whenever. Just call me for the address.

We are LOVING our new house. It's free of all the dark energy our last house had, all the negative spirits around. Blech. This one is so happy, its a bright and calm house. Everyone who comes over says how peaceful it feels. How content and joyful. I think that house is happy we're there, and we are sure happy we are.

I guess I better get back to work. TTYL peoples. Leave me commetns. I need to know you love me!

Stay LDS?

Warning: Controversial Post…

I read about a website today, designed to help Mormons who have had a crisis of faith, stay within the church. Now, I had no problem with that tagline. I think that if you come out of a crisis with the desire to go back, that a resource like that is very helpful for you. A forum for members, resources linked all in one place. That’s great.

Now, as a former member of the LDS church, my curiosity was tweaked, and I clicked.

On the front page was a link to an essay entitled “How to Stay.” I started reading this, and I have to say, instead of finding a support for those who have considered leaving, I found an article that should have been entitled “How to Pretend to Stay” or “How to keep up Appearances.”

The Article, in a nutshell, said that instead of holding the church a high standard (A standard which the bretheren set themselves, mind you) accept that somethings about it are good, some are bad. Some are true, some aren’t. That instead of knowing the church is true, you have faith that it’s good.

Now I myself, I cannot go to a church, especially a church that expects its members to have 100% faith, and to believe, without a doubt that it is the ONLY true church upon the earth, and not believe that.

Yet that is exactly what this article tells you how to do. How to be a “Buffet Mormon,” How to “de-program your children,” and such things. My personal feelings are, if you feel that way about the church… why stay?

Well they address that too. Because you were probably raised in the church, probably had callings, and lived your life in the church. Married, had children, all of that within this Mormon Community. To leave now, would be too hard. It would mean changing your life, and looking inward. And who wants to do that? Who wants to really take stock of their life and their beliefs? Apparently not Mormons.

I was offended by this essay for various reasons. First, as a former Mormon, I feel like this site caters to Jack-Mormons. Like a how-to guide to sort of kinda believe in what, many people I know and love believe VERY strongly. With a testimony that even now amazes me. It’s like spitting in their faces, why do all the hard stuff when you can just PRETEND to?

As a non-Mormon now, I’m offended that people who find themselves in this position would rather keep up appearances and go through the motions rather than actually face their fears and beliefs and come up with what they need spiritually.

I’m not saying everyone on this site is like that, I’m not saying that these are all bad people doing this, I just feel like admonishing the practice of Pretend-Mormons makes me really sad. I’m linking the site below. The essay is linked on the front page. Let me know what you think. I know there could be a lot of different views on this, and I’d like your opinions.

Site: www.staylds.com

Essay: http://staylds.com/docs/HowToStay.html

Blogging as a sport.

So yesterday I was bored.

Because this is a holiday week, everyone keeps skipping out early, if they come in at all. And about 3 pm yesterday, this left me with nothing to do. So I read back some of Becca's blogs (Becca I have the hardest time not writing Bekah now. Its like my fingers are mutinous...) and my old blogs.

And I thought of something. You know, when you get married and have a family, you start to lose little pieces of yourself. You get married, and there goes a chunk. You have a baby and there goes another chunk. Bills, rent, mortgages, a real job... chunk after chunk falls off and goes by the wayside. (Oddly enough all of those things will make you GAIN chunks all over your body!!)

I'm getting off track a little, but what I'm saying is, you get to the other side of that stress, that frenzy, and start to wonder where you went. Things finally start to settle down, the bills get manageable, your job is nice, your kid is a little older, and you settle into a lovely relationship with your spouse, and suddenly you see this giant gaping hole in yourself. Where the f*** did that come from?

I personally believe that's the point in a relationship when things can really go south. You can start blaming this other person because you don't fish anymore, or you don't have time to camp, or draw or whatever. Or you can turn it around on yourself and say "Hey, self, I want to start doing (insert whatever here) again. Let's make this a priority and find ways to bring this back into our life." Of course you do need support from those around you, but really, its up to you to bring it back.

Ok I've been ranting on and on and really just circling around what I'm thinking. I really miss writing. And though I don't have time to take any classes right now, I'd like to start doing it again. Even just recreational blogging about my life.

SO, to get down to the meat of this post, this bloggy is going to diversify a little bit. I'm tired of the Family Picture + caption format, and want to open up again. So prepare thyselves.

I will warn you now, those of you who have not previously read my old blogs, that I can be dark, sarcastic, opinionated and pushy. But I figure this is my space on the interwebz, and I can be me here. I won't swear, but I might offend you.

Comments are loved. So are insults, harrassements and any other thing that lets me know people read. I love you all, and I hope you're ready. :D